Scott’s Story

Scott’s Story

I was saved back in 1993, in the month of October. I do not remember the exact day because my life back then was mired in darkness, drug addiction and sin. I was 23 yrs old and so lost that I felt there was no hope for my life. I use to believe I would never live past the age of 40 and if I did I would surely die a drug addict. However, praise God, that He had different plans.

I was a “good kid” growing up. I came from a good home. My parentd were and are still married. I was smart, well liked, had lots of friends,and was pretty much a straight A student.I never got into trouble or anything like that. Then I started using drugs at the age of 15 when I smoked my first joint. I also drank (got drunk) for the first time at age 15. I thought it would be fun, and maybe help me impress the girls into thinking I was “cool”. This would be the start of a very long hard road that would led me to a pit of despair and brokenness that was so deep and dark I believed the only way out would be for me to take my own life.

By the time I was 18 I was using cocaine and I had tried just about every drug under the sun. Cocaine would be come the “love of my life” and ultimately my source of self destruction. I lied, stole and manipulated everyone in my life to support my addiction. Nothing was more important to me than getting it, using it and then getting more once it was gone. I started committing crimes to pay for my habit.

After one particular nasty binge I knew that it was only a matter of time before my family realized just how bad my addiction had become. I decided to end my life. I went home late that night to my parents house where my father confronted me with the knowledge he knew what I had been up to and asked me just what was I going to do to make things right. I told him not to worry, that I had it all figured out and in the morning he would see that everything was going to turn out ok. Little did he know I was planning to overdose on sleeping pills, thus ending my life and my misery.
I took 213 50mg sleeping pills, combined with 4 500mg hydrocodone (loritabs) painkillers, and washed it down with some alcohol. It wasn’t long before I felt the effects and soon I began to drift off to what I believed would be my final sleep.

Just before I was about to lose consciousnesses, I heard a voice, someone speaking to me. The voice said to me, “Well Scott, you realize you are going to hell don’t you?”

This jolted me out of my drug induced stupor and I had a moment of clarity, as well as a great sense of fear/impending doom. I replied “I dont want to go to hell!”

The voice calmly responded “Well then, you know what you must do.”

Prior to this I had knowledge of God, of who Jesus was and of what He had done on the cross. I had the head knowledge so to speak but that it, but it was enough for God to use!

I managed to crawl out of bed. I was not able to stand, but I did not have too. On my knees is where I needed to be and that is where I ended up. I prayed to God. I said to Him “God, you know what I have done. You know the kind of life I have lived. I have lied to my family. I have stolen from them, from my friends, and from everyone that knows me. I have done many things wrong and I am sorry. Please forgive me Lord. I do not want to go to hell! No matter what else happens after this God, please, not matter what, please do not let me go to hell!”

My memory after that is very vague. I have bits and pieces of what happened next. I was living with my parents at the time and “something” woke my mother up; this urge was overwhelming for her to go check on me which led her to the room I was in. By the Grace of God she was able to get me to respond to her cries for me to unlock the door I had bolted shut. When I slid back the bolt I collapsed (I barely remember any of this).

What I do remember next was waking up 2 days later in the ICU at that local hospital. I had tubes coming out of me everywhere. My first thought upon waking up was, ” **** – I am alive”. I knew in that moment I would have to answer for all the things I had done, but most of all I was miserable in the knowledge I had failed to kill myself. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to die.

The doctors had told my parents if they had reached me just 20min later I would have died. It was a miracle they said that I was alive. As it was, the amount of drugs I had ingested had caused my kidneys to shut down. Most likely I was going to need a kidney transplant, and if not I would definitely be on dialysis for the rest of my life. They were just waiting on more tests to come back to see just how extensive the damage was. Miraculously when the tests did come back the doctors were in shock once more, baffled actually because much to their amazement there was absolutely no damage whatsoever to my kidneys. I was in perfect health! They could not believe it. Today I know it was God’s grace and mercy – He had healed me.

That was the start of my walk with the Lord. For 13 long years I would battle my addiction to drugs. I would be in and out of jail close to 50 times, as well has having spent a short time in prison. I have traveled all over the US, trying to run from my problems, myself, and from God. I have been homeless numerous times , living on the streets of Los Angeles at one point in my life. I have lost everything more times than I can count. My road was long, hard,and dark. Many times I was in very dangerous often life and death situations but each and every time I came out of them unscathed. God was with me, protecting me, providing for me, even though I was doing all I could to try and destroy my life and run from the pain/shame I carried inside my heart for the kind of life I was living.

All of it related was in some way to related to my addiction and struggle with sin. It seemed to me actually that I had more trouble after I got saved than I did before, but now I know it was only God working His perfect will in my life to help mold and shape me into the Christian man I am today.

I still struggle in my walk with God. I have not stopped being a sinner, but I have stopped using drugs. I am about to celebrate my 10th year of being delivered from a life of addiction (Praise God!). I could not have done it without the Lord. I owe Him so much and I love Him dearly.

Today I spend my time witnessing to others, reading my Bible, honoring the Sabbath and working on my personal walk with God as Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior commands me to do. Thank you for allowing me to share my Testimony. Praise and thanks be to God in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen.

P.S.

I too play the same online war game that Dan mentions, and he does not know it but he and I have had many dealings with each other on the Forums, particularly on one server where he and I were bitter “enemies” in the online sense of the word. I was overwhelemed with Joy when I learned from Tim just who Dan’s online persona was/is. This is just more proof to the Glory of God and how He can change a person’s life. Well done Dan. I wont say who I am but you can ask Tim and I am sure if/when you do you will be surprised to learn who I am from that game. Praise be to God for bringing us both into the Fold brother, and I am honored to count you among my Christian brethren!